Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Scandal Gosselin Style

The season 5 premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" on Monday drew 9.8 million viewers, which was a record for the TLC network. With the scandals swirling around the marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin, people could not resist to see the drama played out on television

The bodyguard, mistress, and hair scandals are just a few of the juicy backstory that punctuated the first episode.

Now how can we here at One Fine Philly capitalize, er comment on this story of a family in turmoil in nearby Berks County, PA. We can learn from the Gosselins, in that scandal will create a deluge of attention.

And that attention may be converted in cash, which means that One Fine Philly can stop working and devote our time to blogging full time. And we all know what blogging full time brings.

In the interests of boosting readership, I've decided to disclose a few choice Philly-themed tidbits about myself. These disclosures may shock, but they are here to educate. I hope you use them to feel superior.

Disclosure one: I am a Philadelphia schooling failure. I dropped out of Drexel University's accelerated nursing program. My rotation at Hahnemann's labor & delivery unit was the worst kind of hell I had ever experienced. I became barren from the experience, as my uterus fled the state and is living under an assumed name.

Disclosure two: I am a big liar. I tell people I attended Live Aid in 1985 as a fetus in mommy's tummy. But really I was 15 and long out of the womb by then. And actually my parents wouldn't let me go. But I redeemed myself (sort of) by dancing my face off to Def Leppard during Live 8. The kids around me were horrified.

Disclosure three: I am a stupid criminal. After some imbibing at the now defunct West Philly Walsh's bar, I and five others were arrested at 30th street station for defacing a Coors light billboard. It was our 4th outing to the same location at the same time of night. Cops were waiting for us. But in the paddy wagon, we got a good laugh when Bernie dubbed us the "Coors six pack."


  1. I find this show fascinating and am seriously guilty of perpetuating the exploitation of tiny tots! Arrest me immediately!!

  2. Don't give up on nursing school. I started nursing as a second career in my 30's and had to drop out of an accelerated program too.
    As far as Walsh's, great place. And sometimes a double feature with Murphys a couple blocks away.


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