Wednesday, May 27, 2009

"Gentleman, Start Your Engines!"

Tonight it is a race against time to get this blog up and meet the challenge deadline of midnight. I'm counting on this challenge to bring my writing back to life. Right now it's road kill, bleeding profusely and barely moving on the side of the cyber-highway.While I know that today the pen weighs ten tons, tomorrow will be easier. That is just the way it goes with writing.

When I first started to blog in 2005, my blogs read like diary entries - Really juicy stories of an exciting New York life. I didn’t proofread or spell check, there was rarely a point, and the writing style was inconsistent and, well, pretty much sucked. Over time that changed.

With practice, stories began to emerge with beginnings, middles and ends. I established a consistent voice and developed my writing style. Publishing daily really elevated my writing and I hope that this challenge will have the same effect.

Writing has been a safe spot most my life. When I was a troubled teenager, I wrote through a lot of my more difficult life stories. I poured my anger and shame into wide ruled pages of a spiral notebook that I hid under my bed. In my twenties, I cataloged every love, every date and every painful moment of rejection. My early thirties are saved in a file on my desktop marked “Daily Log”.

Since I stopped blogging daily, I keep my daily log filled with stories, feelings, ramblings, rants and prayers. I write them as if no one will ever read them. I don’t try to tell a story, I just try to fill the page and in the process empty out every negative thought or fear being harbored in my brain. I also use the pages to be grateful and appreciate all the gifts in my life. Writing outside of the safety of my log is a little bit scary. Am I ready to let the outside world back into my fragile heart?

I don't know if I'm quite ready, but it's time to just jump. Over the years, writing has been my very best friend. Sometimes I stray, but she is always waiting for me with open arms whenever I wish to come back. It’s been a tough year and I need her more than ever.

Let's get blogging and see where this challenge takes us!

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate the confessional tone of this blog post, like you were writing the thoughts and they passed through your mind.


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